My Truth

Betrayal rewrote my life’s most memorable times. Holidays, cross-country moves, a marriage proposal, wedding day, pregnancy, the birth of my son, and my first months with him as a new baby were forever marked by an abrupt discovery. My partner’s choices soured what I thought to be the sweetest times in life. As it felt then, but I knew it wouldn’t forever, my ex-partner’s choices dimmed my future.  He was a man I loved, admired in high esteem, and felt lucky to be alongside. Those feelings were forever changed as our everlasting story was rewritten.   

I believe his ability to discern between right and wrong was intact, but flawed was his fortitude to make the right choice. I was lied to in every way possible, as were many people in his life - family, friends, trusted mentors, and likely himself. Cruelly, the burden of proof was left for me to discover the truths that were hid. Even in the face of losing it all, continued dishonesty brightly illuminated my own path to leave.

While it is possible that predispositions may have influenced his decisions, I firmly believe they did not determine them. In spite the acts towards which he felt compelled, his sole responsibility was to be accountable for his actions and put forth effort to make changes—he didn’t. For those reasons, I chose a new path forward, one of hope and one of happiness.

My new vows are to shed incredible love and light on my son. I will teach him respect for others, support his character to shine with strong morals and integrity, and above all, guide him to be a man that can be trusted. Where it fell apart, I want to bravely pick the pieces back up. For many years, I gave my best and I'm proud that I did. That said, I'm confident the past won’t define what is yet to come. For awhile, what I was feeling was beyond words--now, I can find both healing and hope in choosing the right ones.