The Idea for a Grief Care Package

I started attending support groups almost immediately in my grief journey that started by surprise. I sat in the circle but was rather numb as I listened to painful stories similar to my own experience. Upon getting more acquainted with the support group process, I saw and heard commonalities within our grief journeys. We often discussed changes to daily routines that affected our physical health and mental wellbeing. Moreover, stories were told of experiencing social awkwardness and silence when it came to others’ efforts to support our grief and loss.

First, the physical hardships. We all spoke about the difficulties of sleeping. Whether it was disruptions to routines that previously existed, or it was worried thoughts and anxieties keeping us awake—we agreed that losing sleep was one of the hardest parts of our grief experiences. When we weren’t getting the rest we wanted or needed, there was consensus that we were even more emotional, fatigued, and less able to cope with our circumstances.

Another challenge most everyone touched on was changes in nutrition and eating habits. My stress and anxiety was so powerful that I recall being nauseous and feeling too sick to eat. When my appetite eventually returned, I didn’t have energy or the desire to plan, shop, prep, and cook meals. Like many in my groups, I had lost weight. But as grief responses differ, others had gained weight given changes in their nutrition. Sometimes we exchanged ideas on how to remind ourselves of even the most basic need of drinking enough water.

I also observed that most everyone gravitated towards an outlet that supported their emotional wellbeing. Due to our particular cause of grief, not everyone could relay their circumstances to a social network for support. So, solace and comfort had to be found in other ways like journaling, listening to music, creating or viewing art, or even a simply lighting a candle and drinking a cup of tea. We often shared a nurturing habit or ideas with each other to help cope with the intense emotional swings that interfered with our ability to get through each day. These acts, while seemingly small, served as moments to tend to our mental, emotional, and spiritual needs

As we related to each other through our loss and grief experiences, the commonalities continued to strike me. So did the conversations of the varied social support people were receiving from family and friends. It was common to hear that some social connections did not know what to say, how to help, or avoided conversation altogether. This of course only fueling the loneliness that grief brings.

The proverbial lightbulb went off. I wanted to support these issues as beautifully as I could for those I was meeting in my groups.

I wanted to create a way to support the basic needs that grief surfaces AND make it easier to extend care for those grieving. I knew it could be both useful and beautiful. While the concept of a care package was not new, perhaps the design and application of it could be done in a new way. I started prototyping care packages for grief on my kitchen table, making space for items that could be helpful for mind, body, and spirit.

Using my observations in my support groups, I wanted to include gentle reminders for hydration. I wanted to include protein, but in comforting and palatable small bites of healthy food or treats. I sought items that could provide even the smallest moments of peace or offer at least a deep breath for one’s self in the midst of chaos. These moments came through a room mist, a candle lit for reflection, or even an aromatherapy steamer to simply place on the shower floor. Yet more moments were to be provided in rubbing in a calming hand lotion or salve, or perhaps an essential oil roll-on when grief strikes in the check-out lane of the grocery store, or a small journal to capture a thought, feeling, or reflection. Each item is meant to serve a small, but helpful purpose through grief.

It is my hope that these intentions are felt by those who open the care packages. That they feel the love of those who sent it, and at the same time, can find moments of peace in the midst of the swirls (and tidal waves) of hardships that grief brings.